Pop-Pop

Man of few words, but a fountain of knowledge. 

My Grandfather was a quiet man, you had to work a little to get him going. But, once you did....he was a jolly conversationalist. He was very knowledgeable in so many areas and was always reading and learning more. I always looked up to him and we had a very special bond. My Grandmother too. 

  

My Grandfather, or Pop-Pop as we called him, passed away on February 3rd. His "celebration of life" service was the following week and Chris and I were able to fly out to attend. I longed to be there and sit with him one last time before he passed away. But, I could not. I am still sick myself and it's a huge risk for me to travel anywhere. He understood. I told him I wanted to be there, but he told me that I had to get better too. He knew I loved him very much and I know he loved me. But, it still hurts that I could not be there. 

I would like to mention my grandmother - a woman of great strength. She is a fighter and strong. She amazes me. She has taught me so much and continues to do so. Grammy is an amazing cook (it comes naturally in our family ;-) ) and a wonderful hostess. She has a flair for lovingly adding beautiful finishing touches to her meals and has a great eye for detail. She is a trooper, but I can't imagine what she is going through right now. They were always together. 

The service was beautiful and well over 300 people attended the actual service. There were 200 or more folks that stopped by before the service to pay their respects and visit with the family. I was not surprised at the number of people, Pop Pop was well respected and touched so many lives. There were lots of family and extended family, local folks who knew Pop Pop all their lives, our loyal hardware store customers, many friends from the birding community, friends of his children and grandchildren came to show their support, and more. Our family was and still is very touched by the outpouring of love and support.  

I wrote a little something a few days before, going back and forth if I should read it during the service. I decided that morning, knowing that I would never ever forgive myself if I did not say something. My body was a mess that week - reactions, new waves of infections, and emotionally a wreck. But, I had to go, be there, and say something. Only by God's grace was I able to even stand up that day - I am so thankful. 

When I asked my uncle if I could read something (thinking during the open mic time), I had no idea I would be placed as one of the three main speakers, along with the pastor. First was Mr. Jack Holcomb - local radio show host and friend of my grandparents, second was one of my uncles - Uncle Jim, third...me. Following behind these two great men and their beautifully moving eulogies was beyond humbling. My brother lovingly stood by my side, literally holding me up, while I spoke. I knew he felt the same as I did and my words were written with him in mind as well. 

My words - 

I could hear it in his voice, the last time I spoke with my Grandfather. He sounded content. He sounded happy. He was content with his life and happy that so many of his loved ones were with him, surrounding him with love and care.  It only seems right where he passed away – at home, in his spot, surrounded by his family and surrounded by his books.

Henry David Thoreau wrote - “Some travellers tell us that an Indian had no name given him at first, but earned it, and his name was his fame; and among some tribes he acquired a new name with every new exploit. It is pitiful when a man bears a name for convenience merely, who has earned neither name nor fame” 

Pop Pop, the name his grandchildren called him, had and earned many names in his lifetime. Robert, Bob, Spike, Big Bird, husband, father, Pop Pop, brother, uncle, cousin, son, friend, mentor, a highly respected ornithologist and historian, and so many more.

I would like to add another name to that list. A Pillar. He was a pillar in our lives. To me, personally, he was a pillar, a sense of stability. I could always find him, in his spot, always willing to talk with me and answer my questions. In my eyes he was a pillar in the local community. Holding this amazing ability to amass information, collect local history, and be so willing to share his knowledge.

Thanks to Pop Pop, I am an unashamed Bookaholic. My book collection almost rivals his, because he helped build it. Because of Pop Pop and his influence in my life, I am also a historian, family history collector, local history enthusiast, collector of photographs, and traveler.  Growing up I listened to travel stories, going through stacks of photos from the latest adventure and rolls of film, sitting across from Pop Pop – him fielding my millions of questions. I have so many more for him.

But – he trained me well, encouraged the skills needed to search out the answers. Even though I feel so lost without him, his gentle and often unspoken wisdom is still with me. I will never forget that.

Pop Pop would often ask me what I was studying (from childhood to adulthood, because he knew I never stopped).  I would tell him, he would (in the way that was so uniquely him) abruptly get out of his chair, without a word, walk away. I would wonder what happened, did I offended him?  But, then after a while I would hear some shuffling and see Pop Pop returning to the room. At his return he would be carrying a stack of books – each having to do with the subject of study. If he happened to have nothing on that subject, there were several occasions where Dad would come home with a book, ordered just for me. To this day, if I want to know about something….my default is to check the shelf before google. Thank you Pop Pop, thank you for teaching me so much.  

Pop Pop (and Grammy) also encouraged the nature lovers in both my brother and myself. Even though I am not nearly as good as Pop Pop, Grammy, Uncle Jim, or my brother…I can identify a basic list of birds. Sometimes even by just hearing them. Living in the West has been a challenge; I have to learn about new birds that I have never seen before. But, Pop Pop made sure Chris and I are well equipped with a good bird guide.   

When I was thinking about some fun memories to share, this one came to mind. I have very fond memories playing adventurers and nature enthusiasts with my brother William at Grammy and Pop Pop’s. Wearing Pop Pop’s hats, Grammy’s yellow rubber boots, and holding lantern flashlights – we would seek out dangerous poison frogs and rare birds. Grammy and Pop Pop would always allow us to turn their living room into the deep jungles of the Amazon or deserts of Africa. Tents and all. Then, when it became “night”, they would turn out the lights. All while PBS’s Nature program was playing in the background.

Will and I always looked forward to who would get their post card first when Grammy and Pop Pop were away on a trip. We loved hearing where they were and looked forward to hearing about their trip and going through the pictures. We also loved our State pencil collection. They never discouraged me when I talked about wanting to go places. Pop Pop and I would talk many times about places he has been and the places I wanted to go.

One of the last times I was with Pop Pop in person, we talked about the places where Chris and I plan to visit while we live in Utah. I loved watching his eyes, lighting up and encouraging me to live out those dreams.

There are so many more things I could share. But, I think you get the idea. He was very loved.

I would like to close with another Thoreau quote:
“A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.... What I began by reading, I must finish by acting”.

For those of you that have been touched by my grandfather will understand this. I think Pop Pop did this and impacted so many lives by doing so.

(Elisabeth Cook Lyons, February 11, 2015)

I have always had the mindset that it is so important to remember and honor our elders and family history. Knowing who you are and where you came from is a vital part of understanding life. Blood ties run deep, roots give us a foundation. My grandfather quietly instilled that passion in my life. He used to pull out family photos (generations of them) and point out who the people were. Eventually, he would point and have me name them. He would make copies of family tree information and gravestones for me. Point out family homesteads and where family members were born. We shared this deep love for knowing and leaning about our heritage. He deeply felt and would get emotional about it, I do too. He would come alive and be so animated, I do too. 

I now find myself seeing things or reading about things that I so desperately want to share with Pop Pop, because I know he would understand. But, I can't now. So, I plan to do what my grandfather did for me - share. Share our family heritage. Share the local history that runs so deep in our veins. Lord willing, Chris and my children will care deeply and go even further. I just wish they would have had the opportunity to meet such a wonderful man.